


We're Here, We're Queer, You Should Have Already Known

by gala_apples



Category: Macdonald Hall - Gordon Korman
Genre: Coming Out, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 14:38:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1095138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one cares that Boots and Bruno are dating, but somehow there are shotguns and committees and late night riots anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Here, We're Queer, You Should Have Already Known

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emef](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emef/gifts).



Boots looks down at his homework and sighs. It’s done, but that’s about the best thing that can be said for it. There are so many eraser marks that the paper is smudged grey, and Boots wouldn’t be surprised if it’s thinner in spots.

“Thanks again for tutoring me.”

Sidney shrugs, thankfully not dislocating anything in the process. “Glad to help. Still don’t get why you don’t get Elmer to do it though.”

“I like your technique better.” Sure, Elmer’s world is probably the balancing chemical equations world. Boots has not the slightest doubt that Elmer could understand this assignment while high on horse tranquilisers. But the few times Elmer had tutored him, he’d lectured the whole time, sounding exactly like the chem teacher, and he hadn’t let Boots write on the page until they’d worked the whole thing out aloud. Sidney uses different types of words, actually comprehensible ones, and he lets Boots try to solve the problem before they erase the inevitably wrong answer and try again. 

Sidney smiles a little. It’s not often that he gets complimented. Occasionally Boots feels bad for the constant crap everyone gives Sidney about being clumsy. And then he falls down a hill, or gets his tie caught in a ceiling fan, and Boots reacts just like everyone else. It’s impossible not to say something when Sidney’s tripped on air. 

“I should probably go. Ten minutes to curfew.”

That’s when Bruno kicks his way into the room. Or, well, probably not, since the lock appears to still be on the door and the frame’s not broken. But it opens so fast that it crashes against the wall and when Boots looks over Bruno’s got his foot up, so for all intents and purposes Boots is gonna say he kicked the door in.

“What happened? Did my brother say something?” Boots can’t blame Bruno for not getting along with Edward. He doesn’t either. At least once a month the bastard is aggravating enough that Bruno ruins a pillow slamming it against the wall. Maybe tonight’s the night.

“Do we have to start a committee?” Sidney asks warily. He shifts in the desk seat to face Bruno, but doesn’t make eye contact.

“I don’t know if there’d be anyone who could fairly join Operation Make People Not Be Dumbasses,” Bruno says crankily.

Sidney winces and Boots doesn’t blame him. This is going to be a Thing. After so many years with Bruno, everyone in the inner circle can recognise the onset of a Thing. Whatever Bruno’s problem is, it’s definitely going to be a Thing.

“What happened? And make it quick, Sidney’s gotta go back to his room before lights out.” Sure, they’ll be doing suspendable stuff soon, but they might as well stick to the rules for as long as they can.

“Larry asked me who I was taking to ScrimProm now that Cathy’s asking Vincent!” Bruno gesticulates wildly.

Boots frowns. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“What, you’re too lovesick to go?” Sidney asks.

“What?” Boots asks, completely baffled. And rightly so, Boots thinks. There’s only one way to take what Sidney’s just said, but it makes no sense at all.

“Because I don’t think it’s very fair to be mad at her if you never made a move.”

“I was never going to that dance. Boots was never going to that dance. We weren’t going to that dance because we’re dating. How did you not know that? How did they not know that?” Bruno flings a hand towards the hallway. “How did everyone not know this?”

“Dating? Like, each other?” Sidney frowns before a different expression blossoms on his face. “Oh! I get it. This is the start of some kind of tolerance committee, where the guys are pretending to be gay to make a point? Uh, I’m not sure I want to join, Bruno.”

Boots shakes his head. “Not pretending.”

“Well, you’re not gay. We would have noticed. Besides, between you two you’re on all the sports teams.”

Bruno looks like he’s about to explode. The last time Boots saw him this upset, Wizzle had just called Macdonald Hall out of date. It doesn’t surprise him in the least when Bruno opens his mouth to shout. “Get out!”

“If you want me to help all the other guys get on board you need to explain-”

“Get. Out.” 

Bruno’s careful, furious pronunciation must get through Sidney’s skull. He stands and scurries towards the door. He’s halfway out when, in typical fashion, he trips over nothing. Bruno’s response is to cross the room and nudge him over the threshold with a sneakered foot. As soon as there’s nothing of Sidney on the carpet Bruno closes the door on him. Harsh. It’s not like Boots doesn’t understand the sentiment, but harsh. He needs to do some damage control right this second. The longer he waits, the worse it’ll be.

“So they assumed we’re straight. So what?” Boots demands, crossing his arms. “Sidney didn’t sound like he hates us.”

“That’s not the point! I know how well Wilbur’s uncle’s restaurant is doing. I know what Chris drew for his step-sister’s boyfriend for Christmas. I know the littlest details because the guys are part of Macdonald Hall and ignorance will ruin the sanctity of this place. And they don’t even know we’re dating?”

Boots sighs. Bruno’s wavering between angry and hurt. Both have their own drawbacks, but Boots is going to have to pick one. He doubts his ability to manipulate the situation enough that Bruno comes out feeling happy. He doesn’t have the skill his boyfriend does.

“I’m sure it wasn’t malicious, or because they’d feel safer pretending they didn’t see it. They’re probably just dumb. Do you remember the time Pete asked the new long haired kid if he was a boy or a girl? At an all boy’s boarding school?”

Bruno’s reply is opening the window and peering out to check for randomly strolling authority figures. Boots sighs, but when Bruno bolts for Scrimmage’s, Boots follows. God only knows what Bruno and Cathy will come up with if he’s not there to manage things in the right direction. Or at least steer them away from the upper peaks of insanity.

“Please tell me you’re not dumbfucks.” Bruno says once they’re safely up the drain and ensconced on the light pink carpet leaning against Diane’s bed. 

Cathy kneels so she can better punch Bruno in the chest. Her football strength shows in the _oomph_ noise Bruno involuntarily makes. “Do we look like dumbfucks?” 

Boots cuts in, rolling his eyes. “He recently found out most of Macdonald Hall thinks we’re straight. Some of us are taking it better than others.” 

“I dunno,” Diane teases. “You did kiss half this school in your illustrious youth.” 

Bruno scowls at her. “Who I kiss has nothing to do with where my cock goes. Which is in various orifices of Boots’-” 

“Various?” Diane breaks into a peal of giggles. “How many’s he got?”

“I’ve got only one question. It’s very important. Can we watch?” 

Bruno grins at Cathy in a way that concerns Boots a bit. “If I thought you meant that I’d take my jeans off right now.” 

“And if I thought _you_ meant _that_ I’d direct you to Diane’s bed.” Cathy volleys.

“Diane’s?” 

“Don’t want either of your guys’ come stains on my sheets.” 

“Oh baby, don’t you know I always swallow?” 

“Well, I didn’t, but it’ll be very helpful in future imaginings. So thanks.”

Boots is incredibly relieved when a handful of gravel strikes the window and the three of them stop discussing his and Bruno’s sex life. Cathy gestures to the window. “Yours, I’m sure.”

Bruno shakes his head. “Just because you’re not a dumbfuck doesn’t mean others aren’t.”

“Since when you do shy away from confrontation?”

But Bruno’s got his stubborn face on, and this time he doesn’t even answer. Cathy rolls her eyes. “Fine.” She walks to the window and reopens it. “Occupado,” she whisper-shouts down.

“Tell him to come down,” a guy calls back up. Boots isn’t sure how many guys are outside, but that’s Mark, at least, and Boots doubts that he would come alone.

Cathy cranes to look over her shoulder at Bruno’s stone cold expression, then sticks her head back out the window. “I’m pretty sure he’s flipping you off in his mind.”

“Look, we’re sorry we were confused.” Boots doesn’t doubt that most of their friends would fake an apology to calm Bruno down, but he can hear the sincerity in Mark’s voice. Of course, what he hears doesn’t matter. Bruno’s the stubborn one who’s not going to bend to anything but pure grovelling.

Cathy twists to glance at Bruno a second time. “Nope. Not seeing a change in expression.”

“Fine. Phase two, then.” That’s Wilbur’s voice.

Boots has just enough time to wonder what Wilbur might mean before a chorus starts. At least five guys are belting out _is this the real life, is this just fantasy..._ Despite his self-righteousness, Bruno is intrigued enough to stand up and go to the window to watch. Right after the second _to me_ , before they can start the first verse, he shouts out, “Why are you singing Queen?”

This time it’s Sidney that calls up. “Freddie’s bisexual. That’s almost gay. We wanted to make a big gesture. The Committee to Prove To Bruno And Boots We’re Fine With Them Banging-”

“Dating,” Chris interrupts.

“-is prone to big gestures.” Sidney finishes. 

Bruno’s torn. Boots can see it in every cell of him. He’s happy that his best friends aren’t homophobic dicks, and he’s impressed by the scene being made. But his problem wasn’t worrying about orientation. It was that no one had figured it out already. He doesn’t want people to be telling him they like him even if he’s gay. He wants people to tell him they were secretly taking bets about how long it would take for him to propose. Bruno’s not gonna get that, and Boots isn’t sure that he’ll take this as a consolation prize.

Boots doesn’t get the chance to find out. Moments later, attracted by the light pooling out from under the door, or the sound of deeper than normal voices, or maybe just by the weird mutant ability to sense teenage males that she seems to have, Miss Scrimmage throws the door open. She’s wearing a dressing gown over an ankle-length floral nightie, and an actual stocking cap, but neither detract from the instinctual terror that bubbles up upon seeing the ever-present shotgun. 

“Halt! Intruders!”

The crowd outside goes silent instantly. Boots knows without getting near the window that the whole lot of them are frozen like a deer in headlights. Someone’s probably got Sidney by the collar. One wrong move, one rustle of grass, and suddenly they’re all in trouble. But if the guys outside can just be quiet for a minute Miss Scrimmage will take the offenders to her office and everyone else can sneak away. Boots can’t begrudge them trying to avoid capture. It’s what he would do if he was on the ground and Bruno was alone in the room. Though he’d no doubt be dragged in front of the Fish along with Bruno on pure suspicion. Life is unfair like that.

“No, no. Not intruders. Refugees. Miss Scrimmage, these boys needed our help!” Cathy simpers. It always fascinates Boots to see how easily Cathy can turn adults to her side. Well, when he’s not annoyed or jealous about the skill. The Fish has never once folded under Boots and Bruno’s -mostly Bruno’s- assault the way Miss Scrimmage does Cathy’s.

“Help? But Catherine-”

Cathy throws a pointed finger dramatically to the open window. “They’re the real hooligans!”

Scrimmage takes a few healthy steps to said window. The moment she sees the boys below she shouts “Halt!” and aims her shotgun. The windowsill makes her hold a bit awkward, but it doesn’t faze her. 

Boots captures Bruno’s eyes then tilts his head towards the door. They could sneak out now that her gun is trained somewhere else. Even if they couldn’t make it out of the building they have a long history of borrowing other girls’ rooms. Wilma Dorf won’t blink twice before letting them in. 

Bruno shakes his head, mouthing “I wanna see where this goes.” It’s all Boots can do to not grab him by the hair and pull him bodily out of the room.

“Miss Scrimmage,” Cathy continues, “Melvin and Bruno are in a homosexual relationship. They’re in love, and it got to be too hard, keeping the romance locked inside their souls. But those brutes didn’t like it. So they had to run to this bastion of safety.”

Bruno goggles. Boots waits for the other shoe to drop. Scrimmage makes the girls wear skirts and makeup as part of the dress code. Sewing and baking are compulsory classes. She can’t be that progressive.

“Wretched beasts!” She shouts out the window. Diane smirks. Scrimmage pulls back and slams the window shut. “Diane, take my gun.” Diane hefts it perfectly. 

Now with free hands, Miss Scrimmage steps back and puts one on both their shoulders. Boots doesn’t know how to react. It’s the first time she’s touched him without a pincer grip. “Come, children. We need to go talk to the man-beast. Diane, follow us for safety. Catherine, my dear, remember to put on your sleeping mask before you go to bed.”

“Why do you get the gun?” Cathy complains in an undertone to Diane. Miss Scrimmage doesn’t hear her. Boots figures it has to be selective hearing.

“Because when my dad dropped me off this semester he saw it and asked Scrimmage if she had a firing range,” Diane replies, voice equally low. “She knows I can shoot it.” 

Cathy sulks at that logic, but lets Diane leave unimpeded. Scrimmage is right behind her, and Boots has no choice but to be right behind _her_. The next time Boots gets a quiet moment he’s going to blame Bruno vigorously and repeatedly until he feels better. 

The walk to the first floor and out the front of the building is a silent one. And solitary. The guys must have found an opportunity to sneak back to the dorms. The meaning of the words ‘man-beast’ don’t really hit Boots until they’re climbing up the stairs of the Sturgeons’ porch. Miss Scrimmage rings the doorbell continuously, not letting her finger up. Boots makes a mental note to blame Bruno even louder than he’d been planning.

Mr Sturgeon is still dressed when he answers, thank god for small miracles. Boots can only imagine how much worse the confrontation to come would be if he was in a dressing gown, woken from a deep sleep. “Miss Scrimmage. Boys.”

“And me!” Diane chirps cheerfully. She doesn’t lose the smile, even when Bruno kicks her.

“And Miss Grant,” Mr Sturgeon allows. “To what do I owe this visit?”

“We must talk immediately about the unsafe environment you’ve cultivated.”

A deeply unhappy look passes over Mr Sturgeon’s face before he wipes it blank. “You three, sit here.” He points to the step.

Diane looks at Miss Scrimmage for confirmation. She nods once, then pushes past Sturgeon into his own home. The door closes and Boots drops his face into his hands. 

“Well, this should be interesting.”

“I guess we’re out to everyone now.” Boots mutters. It’s not like he’s particularly against the idea. Frankly he can sympathise with Bruno; he too thought their relationship was so obvious that no one had to mention it. It’s just that if he had to come out, this isn’t the way he would have picked. This doesn’t even make the top ten.

“They shouldn’t have thought we were in!” Bruno corrects righteously.

“If it’s any consolation, Cathy and I never thought you’d end up with us. Unless it was a crazy drunk bi-curious foursome night.”

Boots stares. Bruno bursts into laughter. Boots stares more. Once Bruno gets himself back under control he asks, “You and Cathy?”

“We’ve talked about it? But we both like guys more. Speaking of...” Diane gestures, and she’s right. One of the guys is sneaking towards them, in a ridiculous exaggerated ninja-like fashion. At one point he does a somersault for no discernible reason.

Once the guy gets close enough that Boots can make out features in the moonlight he can see it’s Pete. A few steps closer and Pete’s gesturing to the house. “Hey. Is she talking about us? Or are we safe to go to bed?”

“I don’t think she caught faces. She only had her head out the window for a second. But Cathy sold her a line and she’s in there ranting to him about Macdonald Hall’s homophobic menace, so that might turn into a problem.”

“What?” Pete recoils in confusion. “But we didn’t care. We just didn’t know.”

Bruno shrugs. He opens his mouth to say something, but gets cut off by Mr Sturgeon shouting “We have a zero tolerance policy!” loud enough to hear through the walls.

“Oh my god!” Pete shouts, then sprints away.

Boots glances at both his porchmates. Bruno looks bewildered, but is shaking it off as best as he can. Confusion is not an emotion he likes admitting he has. Diane looks unperturbed, and maybe a little too happy with Miss Scrimmage’s shotgun at rest in her hands.

Time stretches when you’re sitting waiting to get in trouble. Boots has experienced the phenomenon almost more times than he can count, thanks to his boyfriend. Tonight is no different, besides being forced to sit on the porch instead of in Sturgeon’s office in those unforgiving chairs. Diane and Bruno are quietly chatting, because even they’re not dumb enough to draw the attention of authority right now. Boots is doing nothing but fidgeting, wishing this was over with already. He has no idea how long it’s been when Bruno squints. “Is that...”

Boots looks in the direction he’s looking, and sure enough there are a bunch of people running towards them. Not just the normal six, although Boots can easily recognise Wilbur’s lumbering gait, and Mark’s got a tight grip on Sidney so he doesn’t fall when he stumbles. Elmer’s in there too, glasses glinting in the moonlight. Dave from football, and Eric from hockey, and Rupert Wexford Smyth, that asshole George’s little brother. Even Perry’s in the herd, which is weird since he hates Bruno. And when they get to the house they don’t stop running, they just pause for a moment while Chris opens the door and then they all barrel in.

“Guys?” Boots asks nervously. Not a single one of them answer him, they just keep moving.

“Looks like we’re going inside,” Diane says, swinging the rifle up to rest against her shoulder. Boots wavers a second before standing up and following. Yes, the Fish said sit and wait, but these feel like extenuating circumstances.

Surprisingly it’s Wilbur who takes the lead once they’re all jammed into Mr Sturgeon’s living room. It’s not often that Wilbur makes a speech that isn’t food related, but he starts, “You can’t do this. Uh, sir. A lot of times we think Bruno is full of crap about the sanctity of Macdonald Hall. We just go along with his plans because it’s easier than not. Ask Boots about the month Bruno iced him out. But this, sir. This will really really fu- mess up the sanctity. Like really. Not just for our generation, who seem to need Bruno and Boots to survive. But for future generations, who will know how safe this place isn’t.”

Mark takes over. “And there’s repercussions too. Rupert’s a Smyth, he knows money, and he says if you kick them out for such a dumb reason they could sue.”

“Indubitably.”

“And Perry would know how. His parents are in PFLAG.”

Bruno mouths _Perry’s gay?_ at him, to which Boots shrugs. He has no idea and what’s happening now has way more of his focus than speculating about the orientation of someone that he’s never going to say more than a few words to.

“My aunt and uncle sent my cousin to the Harvey Milk school.” Dave offers. “I visited a few times, since we get out earlier here than her school, and I like spending a few weeks on the other side of New York. They’ve got- sorry, tangent. Anyway, it’s a really nice school, Mr Sturgeon. And it’s clean. I mean people still fall in love, but it’s not like LGBT are any more slutty than normal teens. It’s not like Boots and Bruno are going to infect anyone with bad morals. Well at least not Boots, and Bruno’s different.”

“The statistics on non-heterosexual individuals are quite compelling,” Elmer begins.

“Stop.” Mr Sturgeon puts his hand out to reinforce the command. “What exactly do you all believe is happening?”

“You said there was a zero tolerance policy against gays,” Pete explains, angry. “And that’s not okay, and no one here thinks it’s okay, and once we tell The Blabbermouth everyone will know and no one will think it’s okay!”

“Mr Anderson. Contain yourself.”

“It’s not okay! No one cares if Bruno and Boots are sucking each other off. They’re Bruno and Boots. It would be weird if they weren’t sucking each other off!”

“Thank you! That’s what I was saying!” Bruno exclaims. 

Boots rubs the heels of his hands into his eyes. This is all getting very out of control. You’d think he’d be used to it by now, but nope, this is just as stomach-churning as usual.

“Mr Anderson, there are ladies present. Watch your language.” Boots almost laughs out loud at Mr Sturgeon’s admonition, thinking of Cathy and Diane’s earlier come stains conversation. “And as to the rest of you, there is no reason to be here.”

“You can’t stop us. We’re Sons of Bruno!” 

Boots tries to figure out who said that, but can’t. That’s actually sort of terrifying. He makes a mental note to tell Bruno that if he ever starts a cult he’s breaking up with him.

“While I’m well aware that Mr Walton has taught you all to be activists, for better or worse, you simply have no reason to be here. Mr Anderson misunderstood. Miss Scrimmage felt much the way you all do. I was reassuring her Macdonald Hall has a zero tolerance policy, otherwise known as an anti-discrimination policy. It’s against the mandate set by the school board to treat a gay, bisexual, or questioning student any differently. Even if it wasn’t, I hope you’d believe I wouldn’t hurt my students.”

With each word Mr Sturgeon says the furor dies down a degree more, until it’s awkward silence and a shuffle of feet. Bruno breaks the tension, as usual. What’s not usual is how he does it. He pushes his way through the crowd, and when he gets to the armchair he bends and hugs the headmaster. Mr Sturgeon is either too stunned or too fishlike to respond.

“You’re a good guy,” Bruno says, releasing him. Everyone in the room stiffens, waiting for Sturgeon to belt out something like _inappropriate, Walton_ , but nothing happens. Apparently even The Fish can take a compliment in the spirit it was given.

Bruno turns around to face the committee, and points at them to seal the deal. “Everyone back to bed! It’s after curfew and we don’t break rules unnecessarily.”

Diane leans into Boots. “Cathy is going to spit nails that she missed this. She’s probably going to do something to regain the spotlight. Prepare for a reverse panty raid.” 

“Great.” Boots says, mostly resigned with a bit of curiosity that he will forever deny if anyone asks. It’s there, though. He couldn’t plan forever with Bruno if there wasn’t a part of him that likes chaos.

Diane grins then fades away with the rest of the exiting students, blending with the crowd. Except for the rifle. That’s pretty noticeable. Her departure leaves Boots to collect Bruno before The Fish decides to punish them for something which ninety percent wasn’t their fault.

“We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it?” Bruno asks no one in particular on their way back to Dormitory 2.

“Like anyone could get used to you.” Boots chuckles. “You made the entire school collect over forty thousand pop cans.”

“I love you too. And that hardly counts for anything, because Cathy _stole_ them!”

Boots laughs loudly into the night sky. Bruno is so perfectly...Bruno.


End file.
